Remember me
by thesecretrosegarden
Summary: Isabelle Lightwood had always known she would die young but now that it was really happening, she felt like she did not have enough time on earth. A lot of Alec/Isabelle/Jace sibling love and pain, with hints of Malec, Clace and Sizzy. Set somewhen post COLS
1. A battle lost

**I'm with you**  
**Whenever you tell, my story**  
**For I am all I've done**  
**Remember, I will still be here**  
**As long as you hold me, in your memory**  
**Remember me**  
**I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers**  
**And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky**

The night was dark, a handful of stars scattered across the sky. Their light was bright, nearly blinding, as Isabelle stared into them, thinking that maybe this was it. The last thing she would ever see. She imagines Max to be one of the stars, shining down at her, guiding her home to where he was. He had been gone for so long now, months had passed, but Izzy had never stopped missing him and most of all she had never stopped blaming herself for letting him die. She had been his older sister, she should have protected him.

A distant voice cried her name but Isabelle was tired. Her eyes were heavy and she had a hard time keeping them open but she knew the person calling her war Alec. It was always Alec who kept them together and who made sure they were alright. They had lost each other on the battlefield around midnight. Alec went after a demon which attacked Magnus and Isabelle had helped Jace to get through to Jonathan, hoping that they were able to finally kill him. The Elapid demon had caught her off guard while she was fighting two fallen Nephilim. Its venomous teeth had sunk into her shoulder and one of its legs had stabbed her in the stomach. Isabelle had sunk to the ground, choking on her own blood, where she still lay, waiting for her life to end. The poison was burning in her veins, the wound in her stomach gaping, but Izzy was too far gone to care. The stars were all that mattered now. Their light in the darkest of nights, when hundreds of Nephilim fell under the blades of Jonathan's army and tomorrow was lost for so many of them. Isabelle had always expected to die young but now that it was happening, she felt like time had run out too quickly for her. She was 17 for only a few weeks, so much in life was still unknown to her. It had always been her wish to die on the battlefield, doing something heroic like taking the blade for someone else. Instead she had just been too busy to see the demon approach. The one thing she now realized was that there was nothing glorious in dying. It was cold, painful and lonely. She felt so light and dizzy, yet the pain was excruciating, like fire running through her veins, spreading through her whole body and setting everything in flames.

Two hands grabbed her and dragged her somewhere but she could not see who it was. When blue sparks mixed with the white light of the stars she was sure that Magnus had come to her aid. But it was already too late, she felt it. The warmth of his magic could not fill her and she heard the warlock growl.

"Izzy, hold on!"

Her brother's voice was suddenly loud and dominant in her dizzy mind and Isabelle's eyes wandered from the stars to his face, seeing the stains of tears on it, traces of pain on his dusty skin. He took her hand in his and Isabelle felt save. She wasn't alone anymore and that alone made her feel better. "Stay awake, Iz, please! You can't leave me, you just can't!" His pleading hurt somewhere deep inside, where the venom had not yet reached her. Isabelle's heart ached for her brother who was so desperately trying to save her. He was holding on for dear life, clutching her hand in his as if that alone would save her. She wanted to say something, but her mouth was so dry she couldn't speak. The blue and green sparks that floated out of Magnus' hands mixed with the rest of the colors she was still able to see and her vision blurred into a spectrum of rainbows. Alec's voice faded until Izzy was only able to make out single words, as she slipped into imminent, comforting darkness, in which the pain stopped existing and her body's torment was far away.

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Hey everyone! Hope you liked the first, angsty chapter! If so, let me know and fav or review 333


	2. Let her go

**Remember the love that we once shared,  
miss me-but let me go.  
For this is a journey that we all must take,  
and each must go alone.**

The darkness had swallowed her, consumed her and didn't let her go for a very long time. When it finally started to subside, she heard voices, soft sobbing and a door close. The sound were very sharp but her body felt limp. She could not move or open her eyes for a while and was forced to listen to her mother's crying next to her. Someone held her hand and stroked it gently but every touch let bolts of pain shoot through her arm and finally Isabelle was able to move it a little and moan. Her eyes fluttered open and she could see her whole family sitting and standing around her bed, even her father. Alec was holding her hand, while Jace was holding Maryse, trying to comfort her but he was as pale as she was. Izzy studied their faces for a moment, before she tried to speak but Alec leaned over her and kissed her cheek, his tears falling on her hot skin.

"Shhhh, don't speak. Rest, Izzy. You're not supposed to talk or move a lot", he said in a cooing voice but it trembled so much when he spoke that she could barely understand him.

"I'm not dead yet so why do you all cry?"

Isabelle's voice sounded hoarse and shaky. Her mother choked on her own sobbing instead of answering and Iz guessed that wasn't actually the best health prognosis she could have been given. Everyone was crying their eyes out so it had to be serious. It was Jace who lightened up the mood, as always.

"Oh! Crap guys, false alarm, she's still breathing. Stop crying and cancel the funeral! Or better delay it, she will kick the bucket soon", he said sarcastically and earned shocked looks.

"JACE!"

Robert hissed, clearly not into his son's jokes, but Isabelle tried to smile, though she failed, the corners of her mouth barely twitching. Jace, however, seemed to have seen it and winked at her, before letting go of Maryse's shoulders.

"Come on guys, she should rest. Give her some space to breathe", he said, trying to chase everyone out of the room. Maryse let go of her daughter reluctantly and only left because the Silent Brothers were waiting to operate on Isabelle, her eyeless faces looking grimmer than ever in the dim light of the infirmary. Alec stayed behind with Jace, Magnus next to him. The warlock looked tired and worn out but he managed to smile.

"Thought you were not going to wake up again, sleeping beauty. You scared the hell out of everyone, I hope you know that", he said, his voice low and soft. He reached out and stroked her hair, before looking over to the Silent Brothers.

"She's all yours now. Do your best", he said and made Alec rise from the chair next to his sister's bed, even though he did not want to let go off her hand.

"What's wrong with me?", Isabelle's voice was shrill and sounded alarmed. Jace was there to hold her down as she tried to sit up, sending waves of nausea and pain through her body. "If you don't rest, there will be a lot more wrong with you, little sister", he said and kissed her forehead which he hadn't done ever since they had been kids. Another sign for the fact that something was terribly wrong.

Isabelle was too weak and too tired to fight, though and sank back into the pillows, closing her eyes wearily and drifting off to sleep within seconds, the Silent Brothers at her side who were trying to heal her battered and broken body.

It was long past midnight when Izzy woke up again. Alec was sitting at her bed again, Jace next to him. They were both awake but staring blankly ahead without talking. As soon as they realized Izzy was wake, they were both wide awake again, trying their best to look cheerful and normal.

"Hey love, how do you feel?", Alec wanted to know, trying desperately to keep his voice steady as he spoke but failing miserably.

"It hurts…", Izzy moaned because the pain in her body was unbearable. Her nerves were tingling painfully and the wounds she had suffered hurt incredibly, especially the bite mark where the demon had sunk its teeth into her skin.

"I'll go and wake up Magnus so he can ease the pain", Alec said and jumped off his chair, nearly running out of the room, leaving Jace alone with his baby sister. For a moment he hesitated, then took off his shoes and slipped into bed next to her, carefully pulling her into his arms.

"Remember when we were little and I used to sneak into your room after nightmares? I never wanted to admit they had actually frightened me and you never asked why I came, you just let me crawl into your bed and held me until we both fell asleep again", he whispered and kissed her temple. "I can tell you're scared now, but it'll be alright. You'll be alright." Even though he sounded convincing, Isabelle didn't believe him.

"You're lying", she gave back, her voice barely audible.

"No, I'm not lying, Iz. I just believe in you and your strength. You'll get better, I know it. Besides, I would have to follow you wherever you go when you die and kick your sorry ass back here and we both don't want this to happen, right?", he joked and stroked Izzy's arm.

Magnus appeared with Alec that moment and made his way over to Isabelle's bed, blue sparks already spraying out of his hands. "It'll be better in a moment", he said, moving his hands over her body with a concentrated, tired face. A few seconds later the pain subsided a little, yet did not disappear completely.

"Am I going to die? Don't dare lie to me", Isabelle said in the most serious way she was capable of right now and Alec's face fell at her words. Both her brothers stayed mute while Magnus was the one forced to answer her question.

He sat down at the edge of the bed and a sad smile curled up the corners of his mouth.

"I managed to heal your wounds when I found you but I wasn't able to neutralize the poison in your blood. It has spread into your nervous system, causing the pain you feel, and it has somehow settled down in your organs. It has attacked them severely and so far we were not able to heal the damage it has done. If we don't find a cure before your organs fail, you will die, yes."

Isabelle stared at the warlock for a few seconds, unable to really process his words, before she nodded softly. "Okay…", she whispered and avoided looking at her brothers because she knew what those news had done to them.

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thank you guys for the lovely reviews, they meant the world to me! And because I appreciated them so much, I added a new chapter :) let me know what you think xoxo


	3. Keep holding on

**Lord make me a rainbow**

**I'll shine down on my brother**

**He'll know I'm save with you**

**When he stands under my colors**

It was barely morning when Alec sneaked into Isabelle's room. He hadn't really slept in days, not even with Magnus right next to him who was allowed to stay at the Institute to comfort Alec. Maybe his parents were too worn out to put on a fight. Alec, however, was glad his boyfriend was around, now that they were back together, but Magnus couldn't ease the pain that was eating him up inside. He could give comfort, but he could not heal.

Each and every morning, before the sun rose in the sky, he would sneak into Izzys room to make sure she was still there, still breathing. He would have spent every night right next to her if Magnus and Iz herself had allowed it but because both of them insisted that he went to sleep in his own bed, he checked on her regularly every night.

A week had passed since they had brought Izzy in, bleeding and dying. One week in which she seemed to have recovered but in fact it was just the work of Magnus and the Silent Brothers who made her as comfortable as possible. Most of the time she could bear the pain and when she was awake, she was bubbly and funny as usual. Unfortunately there were not many moments anymore in which she was awake. She slept throughout most of the day because her body was drained.

When Alec walked in that morning, Izzy was already awake, her dark eyes staring out of the window. He had forgotten to close the curtains last night and now the first beams of sunlight spilled inside the room.

"Good morning, love. How was your night?", he asked, a crooked smile on his lips as he sat down on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his own and stroking it gently with his thumb.

Izzy smiled weakly and he could tell she wasn't okay by that alone.

"Okay I guess", she said, her voice weak and soft. His heart cramped in his chest to see his strong, beautiful sister withering away like that and he fought hard against the tears that he tried to cry solely when he was alone.

"Would you like to have some breakfast?", he asked, hoping she would accept. She had eaten barely anything the last week, being either too sick or too sleepy to do so. One week had been enough for her to lose weight in an amount that it was more than visible. Her arms were thin, her pale skin nearly transparent with blue veins visible underneath.

"I'm not hungry…", Izzy mumbled and looked at him, her dark eyes forming an excuse.

"Maybe something to drink then? A cup of tea?"

At least he had got her to drink a little the past few days and hoped she was able to have cup or two today as well.

"Yeah…tea would be okay I guess", Izzy gave back and nodded slightly. Alec smiled and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, which was hot and sweaty from the fever that wouldn't drop.

"I'll be right back with tea", he said and left her room to hurry downstairs into the kitchen to prepare two cups of tea for the two of them. A few minutes later he made his way into her room again with two mugs in hand, both hot so he put them down on the nightstand next to her bed.

Izzy took one of the mugs in her hands and he helped her to sit up a little so she could drink more easily. She was very quite this morning, Alec noted, before he carefully watched her taking a few sips of the tea.

Her face changed within seconds from pale to even paler and Alec grew worried.

"Iz, are you alright?", he managed to say, as she bent forward and started vomiting blood, unable to make it to the bathroom or at least give him a sign because it all happened to fast. Alec was so terrified that he dropped his cup and jumped from the edge of the bed, nearly knocking the cup out of Izzy's hand as well. "MAGNUS!", he yelled, hoping the warlock next door would hear him, before running into the bathroom to grab a towel and a bowl. He was shaking violently, tears blinding his sight as he rushed back to his sister, holding the bowel for her and whispering comforting words while rubbing her back.

Magnus appeared in Isabelle's room a few moments later, his hair a complete mess from sleeping and still in his Pyjamas. He saw the blood stains on Izzy's blanket and her clothes and even he looked shocked for a moment, before moving over and pushing Alec gently aside so he could help Izzy, squeezing the boy's hand for a second because he could see the sheer panic in his eyes.

"It's okay, Iz. Don't worry it looks worse than it is", Magnus said in a low voice and stroked the girls back, moving his sparkling other hand over her stomach for a moment.

"Is it better?", he then asked and Izzy nodded slightly because the nausea was gone. Alec was shaking as much as her and nearly as pale.

"The poison has irritated her stomach severely which caused bleeding. It's under control now, though", Magnus explained and hoped it would calm Alec down but he knew how frightening the sight must have been for both Lightwood kids. He turned his attention back to Isabelle and pushed the dirty blanket off her body.

"Let's change your clothes and wash you, huh?", he said and picked her up easily. "I would have done it with magic but I've used most of it, don't want to waste it on something like cleaning you", he added and carried her over to the bathroom, Alec at his heels.

"Alec, help her change and wash, I'll get something that will ease her upset stomach", he ordered, though he was gentle, and left the bathroom because he didn't want Isabelle to feel embarrassed being barely dressed in front of him.

Alec stayed behind with his sister who had tears running down her pale face.

"Shhhht, don't cry. We can fix that, it's not a big deal", Alec said and stroked her hair before wetting a washcloth, then laying it aside to peel the clothes off her first. Isabelle was completely quiet and Alec wished he could have done something to make her feel better but right now he couldn't. He helped her undress and wiped the blood off her skin, before handing her new clothes. Then he picked her up and carried her over to his own room so he could change the sheets later.

"How are you feeling? Still sick?", he asked but Izzy shook her head.

"No…just weak", she answered and curled up in bed as soon as he had covered her with his blanked. She looked so young and fragile and it hurt to see her like that.

"Hey, how about we make a Disney night later after you had a nap? Remember when we were kids and you forced Jace and me to watch Cinderella a thousand times, insisting that she would have been a great Shadowhunter? You loved that", Alec said with a smile but swallowed the lump in his throat because again he was at the edge of crying, remembering those moments from their childhood. Izzy's face lit up a little and she nodded.

"That would be nice", she agreed and the hint of a smile appeared on her lips.

"It's settled then! You have a Disney date with Jace and me tonight. Don't sleep in late, lazy head. We don't want to have all the fun without you", he teased halfheartedly and kissed her hair, pulling a chair next to the bed to sit with her. She was already asleep when Magnus came back with a small bottle in hands and they agreed to give it to her later when she woke up again.

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Hey everyone! Another chapter for night number 3. Please excuse spelling mistakes, I usually write late at night ( it's 3:11 am here ) because the darkness in my room somehow inspires me haha! I'm awefully sorry that I made some of you cry, though I take that as a compliment. Brace yourselves though, the bitter end will come. But in between, Disney night is coming up next ^^ hope you'll like it 33


	4. Cinderella lived happily ever after too

**All of my memories keep you near**  
**In silent moments**  
**Imagine you'd be here**  
**All of my memories keep you near**

Isabelle woke up to the sound of someone arguing in the room and her eyelids fluttered open. "I told you, I looked everywhere, I couldn't find it anymore. Mom made me search the attic for an hour but it's gone", Jace said with a frown on his face and his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Fine, I'll go and look for it, you set up the TV so we can see it from the bed", Alec ordered and left the room without noticing that his sister was awake.

Jace looked over to her bed and smiled a little, before hopping on the bed next to Izzy with a swift movement. "Good morning, little dove. I hope you slept well, we are nearly ready for the DVD evening", he stated, looking around the room. "I accidentally nearly burned down the kitchen while trying to make Popcorn so Mom will make it and bring it in a few minutes. In the meantime I could offer to paint your nails", he said with a grin on his face and Isabelle had to laugh.

"Thank you, last time you did that, you changed your mind and painted my bedpost instead. See, there is still some glittery pink left on it", the young girl said and pointed next to her foot. "Yes, and see what impact it had! Half of your room is pink now, I taught you to love the color", Jace joked and leaned forward do kiss her cheek. Her skin was hot under his lips and he felt his heart ache seeing his baby sister like this but he had promised not to show it. Alec and he had made a vow to be utterly happy tonight and not make Izzy feel any worse. They wanted to have fun together, tears were not wanted.

"How do you feel? Need anything?", he wanted to know after a moment of silence but Isabelle shook her head. "I feel quite okay", she answered, because the pain was bearable and the heat in her body was something she had gotten used to. Despite being completely exhausted even after hours of sleep, she had no worries that she would make it through the evening without any incidents.

Alec finally returned with a box in his hands, a satisfied look on his face. "Found it! It was in one of the storage rooms", he said and sat the box down on Isabelle's bed. "What is it?", she asked with a frown and her brother triumphantly took out a weird construct of blankets and sticks. "Our old tent! Remember when we sat it up to play cave with it whenever we wanted to shut out the world? We used to watch Cinderella sitting in our tent", he said with a smile on his face but Isabelle could see the sadness in his eyes and the way he swallowed hard in order to keep his emotions at bay. "Yeah…I remember", she whispered and had a hard time herself not to cry but she managed to smile instead. "Set it up so we can start", she ordered then and wiped her eyes when her brothers turned around to recreate their childhood memories.

When the rather shaky construction was set up, Jace walked over to Izzy's bed and smiled. "May I take you to your thrown, Mylady?", he asked and bowed in front of her, making his sister laugh. "Of course, Ser Jace", she answered, her mood suddenly incredibly good. Carefully and gently scooped her in his arms and carried her over, placing her in a huge pile of pillows and covering her with a blanket, before squeezing next to her. "We fitted better in here when we were little", Alec chuckled as he tried to find some space to sit before switching the TV on. They were distracted by a knock on the door and Maryse who entered the room. When she saw her kids cuddled, or rather squeezed, under the battered tent of their childhood, she could barely stop the wave of emotions that washed over her. "I'll put the food on the table", she said with a choked voice, before hurrying out of the room without another word.

For a moment there was silence between the three Lightwood kids before Jace got up to get the popcorn and chips Maryse had brought them. "Oh look! Mom is generous tonight, we're allowed to drink lemonade", Jace joked and placed everything in front of the tent before snuggling back next to Izzy. "She has a good day, maybe it's already Christmas again", the black haired girl chuckled because when they had been kids, lemonade had been a luxury usually only granted at Christmas or birthdays. "Let's start before our sleeping beauty here gets tired again", Alec said and started the Video. It had taken them forever to find a videoplayer to play the old Disney video but Luke had given them one. Both Alec and Jace took one of Isabelle's hands and gently stroked it when the movie started and they went quiet to watch it, all of them lost in their own thoughts and emotions. In the middle of the movie, Jace reminded himself of the food in front of them and picked up the bowl with popcorn in it. "Popcorn?", he asked but Iz shook her head. "Don't want to get sick", she said apologetically and Jace nodded slightly. "More for me then", he stated and started eating without offering it to Alec. "He hasn't changed at all you see, he still keeps the food for himself like he did when we were kids", Alec complained playfully and laughed a little.

Isabelle really made it through the whole movie awake but felt drained when it was over. "I'll just sleep here", she yawned and snuggled deeper into the pillows, closing her eyes. Jace smiled and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "No matter what they say Iz, you'll be alright", he said after having watched her for a few seconds. "Why?", his sister wanted to know and opened one eye to look at him. "Because Cinderella got a happy ending too and lived ever after with her prince charming even though she was a bore. If she's fine, you'll be as well", he whispered before pulling the blanket over all three of them. "Yeah…maybe I'm a Disney princess after all…", Izzy mumbled before sleep overwhelmed her. Alec and Jace both slept next to her that night, drifting in and out of sleep, checking on her to make sure she was alright but Izzy slept soundlessly and without waking up from pain once.

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I have to apologize for the lack of updates lately but Uni term papers got me really busy! Hope you like this one 3 review if you do or don't :D thanks for your support!


	5. Heartbreaker

**When the spark turned into a flame  
And the flame grew much higher  
And my hope, faith and every last desire  
It's just another thing that we lost in the fire  
Just another thing that we lost**

Her vision was blurry when she woke up, fire raging in her veins. Every muscle in her body was tense and she shivered under the heavy layer of blankets that covered her. She was no longer in her blanket fort, that much she realized. The ground under her was soft and comfortable, most likely her bed.

"Shhht, it's okay, I'm here."

A most familiar voice spoke softly next to her and Isabelle tilted her head a little to see the daylighter sit at her bed, holding her trembling hand, something like a smile on his lips, although his eyes looked puffed as if he had cried.

She felt relieved seeing him here, finally. Of course her family had not allowed him to see her earlier because they did not like him. Jace must have somehow let him in side with Alec, although the Institute was hallowed ground and usually not a place a vampire could visit. It was this knowledge that made her aware of the fact that she was not in her room but on a couch in the Sanctuary. A small smile crept up on her lips, knowing her brothers had done this so she could see Simon for a bit, could be with him.

"Simon…I missed you", she whispered and the smile on the boy's lips looked pained.

"I would have come earlier, believe me. But I cannot just enter the Institute and…I was here Izzy, every single night. I was in front of the Institute, longing to just climb through your window to hold your hand for a while but I just could not. Your parents finally gave in because…I…", his voice broke and he looked down at her hand in his. It looked so thin and fragile, the skin transparent.

"You slept for a long time. They didn't know if you would wake up again."

Isabelle could hear how much it hurt him to speak the words out aloud. A frown formed on her forehead. Hadn't she been with her brothers the other night?

"How long have I slept?" Izzy tried to sit up but her arms could no longer support her weight, her head was spinning and she felt like throwing up.

"Please, stay on the couch", Simon said and gently pushed her back into the pillows. "For over a week. The Silent Brothers have done what they could to keep you comfortable. At least that's what your brothers texted me." A crooked smile played around his lips for a moment before he looked down at her hand again.  
"Does it hurt when I touch you? Jace said every touch hurts you." His voice was barely a whisper, choked from tears unshed.

"No, it doesn't", Izzy lied, although it did, because she didn't want him to let go of it.

"Alright", Simon nodded and slowly got up, carefully lifting her a bit so he could lie down with her, bedding her against his chest. Izzy enjoyed the cold of his body, his missing heartbeat, everything about him she had come to love. She was glad to have him with her for a while, because I his arms she was home.

For a long moment they were both lost in their own thoughts, her fingers intertwined as they still held hands.

"I need to tell you something."

Simon's voice broke the silence, finally. She could hear that he was fighting hard to steady it and speak without breaking down.

"I don't know if I can come here again, this depends on your parents. But I want you to know that I love you. You're a heartbreaker Isabelle Lightwood, and you are breaking mine by dying, but I don't regret one second I had with you. It's worth all the pain, all the tears. I love you and you'll always be my girl."

Izzy could feel a cold tear fall on her forehead, although his chest was not moving from sobs.

"I love you too, Simon", she whispered, swallowing hard against the lump that was forming in her throat. Dying was hard, not because she was losing her life, but because she was hurting everyone around her. She was like a grenade, when she exploded, she would destroy everyone around her. This was not fair. Her family had already suffered so much from losing Max and their brothers did not deserve to lose another sibling.

Simon did not deserve to lose his first love so quickly.

"I'm sorry I'm dying. It's not fair. I wanted to be with you until I die, but I didn't think that would happen so quickly", she added after a moment of silence and squeezed his hand. Simon gently lifted her chin with one hand and kissed her softly on the lips. He could taste traces of blood on them, smelled the unmistakable mixture of blood and roses surrounding her, heard the weak irregular pounding of her heart. He cherished everything about it, cherish the feeling of his lips in hers, of feeling her slim body pressed against his own, her hand in his. Soon this would be only in his memories.

She would stop existing and the thought drove him crazy. How could he live in a world without her in it?

Simon closed his eyes and rested his head against hers.

"Sleep, you need to rest", he said softly, feeling the grip of her hand loosen a bit because she was getting tired. "I'll be here, I won't leave." A promise he was determined to keep.

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I am SO SORRY for the lack of update lately! University had eaten my brain! Finally some Sizzy, I hope you enjoyed it :) leave me reviews if you do 33


	6. The last good day

**"There's no way of knowing that your last good day is Your Last Good Day. **

**At the time, it is just another good day."**

Isabelle woke up one morning and felt good.

Not the way she had used to when she had been healthy, but her pain had been bearable. As the first sunlight spilled into her room, Isabelle sat up in bed and watched the red orb rise over the skyscrapers she could see from her window, a smile on her face. Her parents had talked to her the other night and had admitted that she was going to die. Something she had known, but no one had openly said it in front of her before. They had all cried, Izzy mostly because of her mother's pain, and still she felt better now. She knew it had been a big step for Robert and Maryse to finally accept the fact that her daughter would not get better. They had been in denial for over two weeks, desperately hoping for a cure, for something to save her. By accepting the inevitable, they had made the first step into the right direction in Isabelle's eyes, who knew that acceptance would help them prepare for the worst. Because it was going to happen, if they wanted it or not.

Although the prospect of dying at her age was nothing she anticipated, Isabelle was trying to look at it as positively as possible and cherish the last good moments she had. The sunrise was something she had hoped to see again before the lights went out, because she had spent numerous nights with Jace on the roof of the Institute, waiting for the sun to come up after a hunt. The two of them had always been the same kind of crazy and reckless, something Jace would most definitely not forget about his sister. They had partied hard together, shared their wildest nights and worst hang overs, killed hundreds of demons with the most fun possible and above all, they had the same wit, humour and tendency to be sarcastic. Isabelle knew Jace would miss her but she also knew he would eventually be fine, better than Alec. Her oldest brother was the sensitive one, the one who blamed himself for her injury, the one who wasn't sleeping and eating already. She worried about him, maybe even more than about her parents, although Izzy was glad he had Magnus to take care of him when she was gone.

The door opened and a very familiar blond entered, still in his gear. His face lit up when he saw Isabelle awake and she smiled back, patting the bed next to her.

"I was not expecting you to be awake. Are you alright?"

Jace sat down on the bed, careful to not smear ichor on the sheets. He reached out and ran a cold hand over Isabelle's cheek, who leaned into the touch.

"I feel alright, yes. Just woke up and watched the sun rise", she said, her pale face nearly shining in the dim light of the room. For a moment, Jace was quiet, before he got up with a grin on his lips.

"Come on, let's go and watch the sun rise properly", he said and grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around his sister's skinny form, before scooping her up into his arms. "Just like we always used to do it after hunts, huh?" He carried her out of the room and up on the roof as if she was light as a feather and Isabelle did not protest, knowing she was too weak to walk on her own anyway.

The air outside was still cold, but Izzy enjoyed the feeling of it in her lungs. She hadn't breathed fresh air in a long time and hadn't hoped to ever be outside again. Jace sat her down carefully and sat down as well, pulling her into his arms to keep her warm while they quietly watched the sun climb over the tops of the buildings until it started to warm their faces.

"I'm going to miss you. I'll only say this once because I don't want to be overly dramatic, but I'll miss you."

Jace's words were like a knife to Isabelle's heart and she had to swallow hard, before she looked at him. He had always been the one who had concealed his feelings as much as she herself had and hearing those words from him was tough.

"I know. I'll miss you, too, wherever I might go. But whenever you miss me, just go up here and watch the sun, do all the things we used to do together as if I was still there. Because I will never leave you as long as you remember me", Isabelle said softly and kissed his cheek, before leaning her head against his shoulder, staring ahead in order to keep herself from crying. Leaving her loved ones behind was definitely the hardest part about dying. Jace held her close and kissed her hair, his heart beating fast in his chest. She knew him well enough to tell that he was fighting against tears as well, but he would stay strong for everyone, because he was always the last one to fall apart. When Alec was feeling like he was about to break, Jace was the one who held him up. This time they were both hurt in the same measure, but still he held his head high. Clary was the only one who, behind closed doors, saw his weak moments. And he was incredibly glad to have her, to have someone he could be weak with.

"I want to have breakfast with you", Izzy finally said, to focus on something less depressing for the both of us. Her wish surprised Jace but he smiled slightly. "Sure, good idea", he said, although he was a bit worried. She hadn't been awake for more than half an hour lately and hadn't eaten in a long time. Her bed was possibly the better option, but if she wanted to be with her family, it was nothing he could deny her.

So he picked her up again and carried his sister downstairs into the kitchen, where Magnus was about to let food magically appear on the kitchen table. He had done his best in the last week to keep everyone well fed, serving the best meals he could think of, just to help out a little, but no one ever seemed in the mood to really eat. When he saw Jace and Isabelle, he frowned for a second, before a soft smile appeared on his serious features.

"Well, well. The Sleeping Beauty honors us with her presence for breakfast. Come here, darling." He flicked his wrist and a comfortable chair appeared at the end of the table, into which Jace gently settled her. "Would you like to drink some juice?" Magnus offered her a glass, his hand on her shoulder to let some blue sparks sink into her skin, taking her pain away.

"And you should change. You're not going to sit at this breakfast table like that", Magnus said to Jace and shooed him out of the room to go and shower, because he was covered in all sorts of disgusting things. Alec came in a moment later and smiled as brightly as possible at his sister, although he had dark circles under his eyes and his shoulders seemed heavier than ever. "Good morning, pretty. It's so good to see you up", he said and pulled her into a crushing embrace for a moment, before kissing her forehead and sitting down at the table. Clary and Jace joined them a bit later, this time with clean clothes in Jace's case, but no one ate much again. They tried to chat normally, as if nothing was the matter to make Isabelle feel less awkward, but Izzy knew they forced it. She didn't mind, though. She remained mostly quiet and just took all of it in. Her brothers teasing each other, Jace's looks towards Clary when she wasn't looking, the way Alec took Magnus' hand under the table whenever he felt he was about to go run and hide because everything was too much. Although Isabelle was present, she felt like she was already gone and watching them from the outside. They were all hurting, she could tell, but seeing them together made her feel better because she knew they had each other. They would be alright one day.

Alec took her back to her room after breakfast and tucked her into bed, like he had done when she had been a little girl. He stayed for a long time, talking to her and reading her favourite book with her, until sleep took over and Isabelle had to succumb to it, although she had tried hard to stay awake and spend more time with her family. She woke up later that day, however, and spent time with Clary, who did her nails and chatted with her about fashion and hunting, as if they were both just some teenage girls hanging out. Isabelle enjoyed it and although she fell asleep in the middle of watching Project Runway with Magnus and Clary, it had been a great day for her. She was aware of the fact that her parents both checked on her later that night, though she was too tired to open her eyes. Her mother sang the old lullaby for her and Isabelle smiled in her sleep, something that made Maryse cry against Robert's chest. While Max' death had driven them apart, Isabelle's condition had somehow brought them closer together again, something for which Isabelle was grateful because she didn't want neither one of them to go through this alone.

When night fell over New York, Magnus sneaked into her room to check on her for one last time before he went to bed. He sat down at the edge of her bed and watched Isabelle's sleeping form, his heart heavy with grief. The warlock had seen hundreds of people perish in his long life and he knew a few things about death. This had been Isabelle's last good day and he was glad that no one besides him had been aware of it, so everyone had enjoyed the quality time they had spent together.

"Good night, princess", Magnus whispered and gently brushed a strand of her raven hair out of the girl's face. "You will be missed." Her breathing was steady but shallow. He knew he had to go over to Alec's room now and wake him up to tell him his sister would not make it through the night. Something that would hit everyone like a knife in the back after the day because it had given them hope, where there was none. He sighed heavily before he got up and slowly made his way to the next room to be the harbinger of bad news.

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Hey everyone! Sorry again for the slow updates, I spent most of my summer outside, enjoying life! I have the last chapters of this story written, so the next update won't take long :) let me know if you still like it 33


	7. Ave atque vale

Nothing felt like it was real.

Jace entered his sister's room like he had done millions of times before, expecting her to brood over a pile of fashion magazines or getting dressed to go out with him. Knowing he would never walk in on her like that, was something his mind understood but his heart couldn't grasp yet. Magnus had woken him and Clary in the middle of the night and even before he had said a word, Jace had known what it meant. He had hesitated to even leave his room, feeling like what was going to happen was unbearable. Isabelle had always been the tough one, their little sunshine, although strangers might not have thought so. To them she had been a happy, radiant girl and losing her now, watching her take her last breath, was something that stole Jace's breath. Yet he knew he owed it to her. It was the last thing he could ever do for his sister, hold her hand and tell her it would be okay. Nothing was okay right now, but he knew she needed to hear it in order to let go. She had fought bravely in the last three weeks but they had known it would come down to this, though in their hearts all of them had still a spark of hope left, that would die with her tonight.

Clary slipped her hand into his and he squeezed it quickly before letting go again, because right now he didn't want to be touched. He would have given the world to be alone with Isabelle. To just hold her and comfort her, without his crying family sitting at her bedside. Jace could deal with his own pain, but not with theirs. Seeing Alec crushed beyond words made his breath come out shaky and he remained in the middle of the room for a moment, unable to move closer. Robert was holding Maryse, who was trying her best to pull herself together, but failed miserably. Alec was just blankly staring ahead and Jace decided to move next to him. He sat down on the ground in front of Isabelle's bed and reached out to stroke her raven hair. She was still breathing, shallow but steadily. He remembered the first time he had met her, the fierce, tall girl with the deep dark eyes, who had mustered him with motherly affection, as if he was an abandoned puppy. Although he had fought hard with her in the first weeks, he had loved her immediately. She was so different from all the other people he had ever met, so much like himself, that they had a connection immediately. It was different than the bond he shared with Alec, but not less deep.

Maryse's soft sobs were the only noise that broke the silence and for a moment, Jace tried to blend them out. He watched Isabelle's chest rise and fall as she breathed, took her hand in his and ran a thumb over her knuckles. "Remember the first time we trained together and I bruised my knee? She insisted on patching me up with Hello Kitty band aids and I hated it. You laughed at me for a whole day because I had a pink Hello Kitty on my knee", Jace suddenly spoke and everyone stared at him, most of all Alec. "What?" He looked blank. "Don't you remember, Alec? Or the times where we both sneaked into her bed when a thunderstorm was outside, pretending to comfort her because she was the little one, when in fact we were the ones who didn't want to be alone? She never said a word and always acted like she was glad to have us around, but she was never scared." He chuckled softly and looked back at Isabelle. "You were never scared. No matter what happened, no matter where we went, you were always brave. I know you're going to a place now you don't know, but don't be scared to let go. You won't be alone. Max will be there and Amatis, and Hodge. And maybe you'll meet Tessa's Will and tell him hi from her. You will be fine, little sister. And I promise we will be fine as well", he whispered and kissed her cheek. Jace would have given the world for her to open her eyes one last time and look at him, or hear her voice again, but she didn't move.

"She always had our backs. She knew long before I admitted it, that I was gay and when I finally told her, she just said: 'I know that. Is that supposed to make a difference? Oh but please, don't go after all the hot boys I'm into.'" Alec chuckled sadly and kissed her hand. "Who'll have my back now", he whispered and tears ran over his cheeks. "Who'll kick my ass in every training session? Who'll drag me to the Pandemonium Friday nights? Who'll force me to watch 'Tangled' for the 10th time? What am I gonna do without you, little sister?" His words hung heavy in the air and no one spoke. Maryse just cried louder and Clary started to sniffle next to Jace as well. "Simon should have been here", Jace said and lowered his gaze. "She would have wanted it."

"He's here", Magnus said and looked over to the window. "I texted him. He just can't enter hallowed ground. But he's here." Part of Jace wanted to go outside to him to not have to witness the inevitable, but he knew he couldn't do that to Izzy. Her body tensed and her breathing became more laboured suddenly, as if she was fighting for air. Maryse looked helplessly up at Magnus, who placed a hand on her chest and let blue sparkles sink into her skin until she calmed down. "It's okay, Iz. Just let go. It's okay. We're all here, you're good. You can go now. Be brave", Jace whispered close to her ear and stroked her hair, her hand still in his.

He had expected her death to have an impact on the world. To make it stop spinning or stop the clocks from ticking. Something that would have made everyone recognize that the world had lost someone significant, but when her last breath left her lip and she slipped away peacefully, surrounded by those she loved the most, nothing happened. The stars were shining brightly in the clear night sky, the world continued to exist without her in it. Alec lost it that moment and started shaking her, yelling at Isabelle's lifeless form to wake up, to come back, to not leave him. Jace couldn't take it any longer and got up. He ignored Clary's attempt to hold him back, just left the room and started running. He ran down the hallway, out of the front door and nearly bumped into Simon who sat outside the fence, his face buried in his hands. When he passed him by, their gaze met and Jace didn't have to say anything, Simon knew. For a moment, they looked at each other, before Jace turned away and continued running. He ran until his lungs ached so much that it nearly matched the pain in his heart and he collapsed to the ground, gasping for air, before he allowed the tears to come. And there he sat, in a dark alley somewhere near the harbour, sobbing harshly and looking up at the stars, wondering if his sister was one of them now, shining down at him.

**Do not stand at my grave and weep;  
I am not there. I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glints on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush**

**Of quiet birds in circled flight.**  
**I am the soft stars that shine at night.**  
**Do not stand at my grave and cry;**  
**I am not there.**

**I did not die.**

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Dear lovely readers, who stayed with Izzy until the end: I know everyone hoped for a happy end, but unfortunately, this is not one of them. I hope you liked the chapter! I made myself cry with it as I wrote it xD this is , however, not the last one, so stay tuned and leave reviews! xoxo


	8. Epilogue

**I am the one star that keeps burning**  
**So brightly**  
**It is the last light**  
**To fade into the rising sun**  
**I'm with you whenever you tell**  
**My story**  
**For I am all I've done**

The sky over Idris was clear and the sun was shining brightly over their heads, as Jace stood in the crowd of those who attended Isabelle's funeral. Clary was next to him, holding his hand, and Alec stood on his other side, jaw clenched, staring ahead. He was trying to keep it together in front of everyone, but Jace knew him enough to tell that he was falling apart. They had stood together like this when they had buried their brother Max and being here now to bury Isabelle as well was nearly unbearable. Jace had never been one of many emotions, but the bond he shared with his adoptive siblings was unique. He had always believed them to be invincible, untouchable. Never had he imagined to lose Isabelle to an ordinary hunt like the hundreds they had done before. She had always been so alive, so strong, how could this have happened to her? The Lightwood's brightest flame had died and with her, parts of her family's hearts were burned on the pyre her body was lit aflame on. Jace sucked in his breath and lowered the gaze of his golden eyes to the ground, gripping Clary's hand more tightly. It seemed like every inhabitant of Idris had come to pay their last respect to Isabelle. Even Helen had been allowed to attend the funeral and Jace met her gaze briefly when he looked up. Her blue eyes were filled with tears and she looked away quickly, shifting closer to Aline.

When it was over and the people were starting to leave, Jace stayed behind and told his family that he would be home later, because he needed a walk to clear his head. Clary only left him hesitantly when her mother led her away from him and he mentally thanked Jocelyn for understanding that he needed a moment to himself with his sister, or what was left of her. He stared at the pyre for a long time, unable to really understand that his Isabelle was gone now and would never return. Although they hadn't known each other for all of his life and hadn't shared a parabatai bond, she had been as important to him as Alec. She had been the one who was the most like him and he knew that no matter what he did, it would remind him of her from now on. Finally, when the smoke started to subside and the pyre was only glowing anymore, he reached out and placed a crumbled picture on the ashes, one he had always kept close to him after Max's death. It showed all four Lightwood children, smiling and goofing in front of the camera. Jace had his arms wrapped tightly wrapped around Isabelle, both grinning. The corners of his mouth curled up now as he stared at the photograph, the edges of it curling up from the heat until it slowly burned to ashes as well. "Ave atque vale", he whispered and swallowed hard to fight back tears, before he turned around and finally walked away, but not towards home, but up to the hills in front of Alicante, where he sat down and let his gaze wander over the city. The sun was finally sinking and Jace sat in silence for a while, his thoughts with his sister. After a while he sighed heavily and reached inside his jacket, taking out an envelope with his name on it in Isabelle's handwriting. They had found the letters in her nightstand, one for each one of them, but Jace hadn't had the bravery to open it so far. Now his shaking fingers slowly opened the letter and took out a piece of paper that he unfolded. The handwriting was so familiar, yet different than usual. He could tell it had taken a lot from her to write, her hands had been shaking. Still she had found words for her family, words that were supposed to comfort them and give them a final goodbye.

_Dear Jace,_

_When you read this, I certainly have kicked the bucket, or you have been sneaking through my stuff for no good reason, in which case I forbid you to continue to read until the first case is true. Anyway, my dearest brother. I know that my end will probably come sooner than we all thought and I might not find the strength to tell all of you what I want you to know, so I wrote you this letter to have a proper goodbye. I felt the life slipping from me those past few days and I am afraid to leave this world behind before I can write down a few words as some sort of a legacy, something I leave behind for you when I continue my journey to a place I don't quite know yet._

_First of all: I am incredibly sorry to leave you. If it was my choice, I would have still annoyed you when we were both 100 and racing the streets on mobility scooters. I never wanted to be the first of us three to leave but I guess one had to be. So I will go to wherever Max went when he died and I am sure that I will be alright. It is you who I am scared for, because I know that you will suffer. I know you will wear a brave face but on the inside you will fall apart. Please don't just drown your pain in silly bar fights, too much booze and reckless hunts. I have no use for you in heaven, you hear me? I am dead now, so you have to live the life I never had the chance to have. I want you to share your grief with Clary and Alec and talk to them whenever you are sad, just like you used to tell me. And then live. Live, love, laugh. Enjoy your life to the fullest. Marry Clary, have beautiful children and grow old. I don't want to see you up here before you are covered in wrinkles and have a bald patch on your head. Please be good to our parents, no matter how many mistakes they made. Help Alec, because I know it will hurt him the most. And keep in touch with Simon, who will be hurting as well and has no one besides Clary to turn to now. I know you will be happy again one day and I will look down at you and be happy for you as well. I had so many plans for the future I never admitted to want, a husband, children and a save home in Idris – but maybe that wouldn't really have been me. I died like I lived, fast and without regrets. Although I never turned 18, I had an amazing time on earth and lived life to the fullest while it lasted. And I had the best nine years with you, my beloved brother, for which I thank you. When you came into our family, I knew we would grow close, but I never imagined how close. Life with you was the funniest, wildest and most amazing thing I was ever blessed to experience and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. You were the best bigger brother I could dream of, the complete opposite of Alec. We did so many stupid things in our youth, partied hard, had uncountable hangovers, incredible hunts, went to hell and back together, saved the worlds numerous times and through it all, we just looked insanely hot! Farewell, my darling. Don't cry too much because salty stuff is bad for the skin. Thank you for always having my back. Don't forget me! And never stop talking about me because people never truly die as long as they are remembered. I will always be with you, just look up at the night sky and find me in the brightest burning star, shining down on you._

_I love you to the moon and back and I will see you again,_

_Isabelle_

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My dearest readers, I bid you farewell because this is the end, finally. I thank you so much for your kind support as I wrote this story and for sticking with me until the very end 3 If you liked my story, check out my other Mortal Instrument/TID fanfics!


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